This is from a friend – cheers Jake

  1. Your blood boils when you see civvies wearing DPM.
  2. You insist on dancing like a dick, whilst your civvie mates insist on trying to dance ‘properly’.
  3. Your civvie mates don’t understand any of the terminology you use such as ‘no sweat’, ‘screw the bobbin’ or ‘As you were’ etc.
  4. You can’t help saying “Roger”, “Say again” and other snappy bits of VP
  5. You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your wife/girlfriend.
  6. You refer to personal organisation as “admin”
  7. You think not shaving is a treat….
  8. Your wife/girlfriend is stored in your mobile phone address book as ‘Zero Alpha’
  9. You can’t watch war movies without giving a running commentary.
  10. You have to stop work at 10am for NAAFI break or else you might not make it to lunch….
  11. At least half of your DVD collection are war movies….
  12. The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for ‘enemy depth’….
  13. You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you’ve worn all week is perfectly normal….
  14. All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because you’re incapable of cooking anything that can’t either be curried, boiled in a bag or eaten cold….
  15. When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can’t just give it once, has to be repeated.
  16. When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with “Reference bushy topped tree etc etc”
  17. When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has…..Worse still, if it’s a venue you haven’t been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.
  18. You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.
  19. You always put a line through the number zero and also the number seven.