You Know You Used To Be A Squaddie When:
May 14, 2013 Stuff
This is from a friend – cheers Jake
- Your blood boils when you see civvies wearing DPM.
- You insist on dancing like a dick, whilst your civvie mates insist on trying to dance ‘properly’.
- Your civvie mates don’t understand any of the terminology you use such as ‘no sweat’, ‘screw the bobbin’ or ‘As you were’ etc.
- You can’t help saying “Roger”, “Say again” and other snappy bits of VP
- You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your wife/girlfriend.
- You refer to personal organisation as “admin”
- You think not shaving is a treat….
- Your wife/girlfriend is stored in your mobile phone address book as ‘Zero Alpha’
- You can’t watch war movies without giving a running commentary.
- You have to stop work at 10am for NAAFI break or else you might not make it to lunch….
- At least half of your DVD collection are war movies….
- The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for ‘enemy depth’….
- You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you’ve worn all week is perfectly normal….
- All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because you’re incapable of cooking anything that can’t either be curried, boiled in a bag or eaten cold….
- When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can’t just give it once, has to be repeated.
- When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with “Reference bushy topped tree etc etc”
- When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has…..Worse still, if it’s a venue you haven’t been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.
- You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.
- You always put a line through the number zero and also the number seven.