Hi folks,

The sun is shining at last in the UK, lifting everybody's spirits after a dramatic few weeks. The UK was among countries who carried out targetted strikes on chemical weapons plants in Syria, following vile chemical attacks on civilians. Whatever you think of this intervention (and do tell us on Facebook!), you've got to raise a smile at this amazing aricle from Russia, pointing the finger of blame for the chemical attacks at… the UK! 

We hate to sound like a broken record but please ensure you have logged into your Ex-Mil Recruitment account and updated your details. With the new GDPR regulations about to kick in, anyone who hasn't logged into their accounts for a period of time will be removed from our system.

And finally, don't forget that time's running out for you to enter our great competition to win tickets to the Army v Navy rugby match at Twickenham on 5 May. Don't miss your chance to attend this brilliant sporting fixture! 

Regards,

The Team

Recent vacancies

Trainee Installation and Service Engineer Whiteley, Hampshire circa £20k to start

Business Owner Dunoon, Scotland Negotiable

Business Owner Central Belt, Scotland Negotiable

Site Technician Watford and Southeast England circa £20.000

Up2U:Armed Forces Facilitator/Partner Support Worker Portsmouth £24,723 FTE

Up2U:Armed Forces Coordinator Portsmouth £26,000-£30,000 dependent on experience and qualifications

Clubhouse & Royal Route Officers Wimbledon, London £13.70 per hour

News round–up    

The mystery of the homesick mechanic who stole a plane

British Armed Forces "Significantly Understaffed", Report Reveals

'Highly dangerous' ammunition boxes found in Cornwall

'Bagpipe Whisperer': Unusual Viral Video Rockets Military Charity To Fame

‘Highly likely’ Russia will launch cyber warfare in response to Syria airstrikes

US-led strikes on Syria: What was hit?

RAF Strikes Against Syria: What's The International Reaction?

Britain joins Syria strikes to deter chemical attacks

UK cabinet gives backing to strike against Syria

‘Pure’ Novichok used in Skripal attack, watchdog confirms

IT AIN’T HALF CHILLY MUM Former soldier wins £800,000 compensation from the MoD – because his feet got cold

Tony Blair says UK should launch military action in Syria because ‘non-intervention has consequences

Military Promotion Depends On Improving "Inclusive Culture"

The British Army's Menagerie Of Mascots

Lawyers chasing payout for Taliban bombmaker aren't even sure he's alive as he's been unreachable in Afghanistan for three years

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a terrible leak of drone buyers' data

UK opens permanent military base in Bahrain to strengthen Middle East presence

Bones of British sailors being looted as Government fails to honour war dead, campaigners say

Do you have any news you think we should feature, or any areas you’d like us to cover? Email us at:…[email protected]

You could be eligible for a university degree in management

A university degree in management can lead you into a worthwhile second career. Your rank could make you eligible for an online MBA at a prestigious UK university. Even if you have a specialist skill, a university degree in management is particularly relevant as your next career path should take you into management.

www.onlineuniversitymilipol.com works with military and ex-military candidates worldwide. We pilot you through the university acceptance process by turning your Services experience into ‘academic points’ so that you are offered an online university place with LSM (distance learning associate college of Anglia Ruskin University). There is no charge for this work, as it is paid by LSM, so you can find out if you comply without obligation. We remain with you throughout your study and will even attend the graduation ceremony on your behalf if you are abroad.

The cost of online study is significantly less than that of attending university and, more importantly, you do not need to stop working whilst gaining your degree.

One of the big advantages of online study is flexibility, particularly when you are unable to commit to a fixed weekly schedule. You might even finish earlier than an attending student if you are able to put in more time but your qualification and benefits will be exactly the same. Additionally, you can start after acceptance rather than waiting for the next year like an attending student.

Email: [email protected] or see www.onlineuniversitymilipol.com for more information.

Events etc.

Upcoming events can be found on these sites for the Royal Air ForceRoyal Navy and Army – something for everyone!

Do you have an event or appeal you’d like us to publicise? Email us at:…[email protected]

Reunions

Do you have any reunions you want to let everyone know about?

Just send in your name and details of how interested parties can get in contact. Also let us know the details of the reunion — who it's for, place, time etc. and a website if there is one, and we’ll include it in our next newsletter.

Email us at:…[email protected]

We Like to be social

Don’t forget you can connect with us on LinkedIn or ‘Like’ our page on Facebook.

Joke: Tax

An old man meets with his accountant, and is told he is going to be audited. The accountant drives the old man over to the Inland Revenue and when he gets there, he begins to talk with a member of staff.

"I bet you £2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The old man says to the staff member, who agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task.

The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye, and bites it.

The staff member is dumbfounded. The old man bets £3,000 he can bite his other eye. The Inland Revenue staff member knows there's no way possible to do this, so he once more agrees.

The old man cackles, pulls out his dentures, and bites his eye.

Then the old man finally wagers, "I bet £20,000 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk, and get it into your wastebasket, without missing a single drop."

The staff member knows he won't be able to, so once more he agrees.

The old man indeed misses, peeing all over the desk, and on the paperwork.

The staff member jumps for joy, but then notices the accountant, who is sitting in the corner of the office moaning.

"Are you all right?" asks the staff member.

"No!” says the accountant, “On the way over here, he bet me £400,000 he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

If you want to contribute to the jokes in this newsletter, just send them in — email us at:…[email protected]

For various reasons we can't always include them in the newsletter, but we always appreciate them!


Ex–Mil Recruitment

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