Newsletter – 19 April 2018
April 19, 2018 Newsletter
The sun is shining at last in the UK, lifting everybody's spirits after a dramatic few weeks. The UK was among countries who carried out targetted strikes on chemical weapons plants in Syria, following vile chemical attacks on civilians. Whatever you think of this intervention (and do tell us on Facebook!), you've got to raise a smile at this amazing aricle from Russia, pointing the finger of blame for the chemical attacks at… the UK!
We hate to sound like a broken record but please ensure you have logged into your Ex-Mil Recruitment account and updated your details. With the new GDPR regulations about to kick in, anyone who hasn't logged into their accounts for a period of time will be removed from our system.
And finally, don't forget that time's running out for you to enter our great competition to win tickets to the Army v Navy rugby match at Twickenham on 5 May. Don't miss your chance to attend this brilliant sporting fixture!
Do you have any news you think we should feature, or any areas you’d like us to cover? Email us at:…[email protected]
You could be eligible for a university degree in management
A university degree in management can lead you into a worthwhile second career. Your rank could make you eligible for an online MBA at a prestigious UK university. Even if you have a specialist skill, a university degree in management is particularly relevant as your next career path should take you into management.
www.onlineuniversitymilipol.com works with military and ex-military candidates worldwide. We pilot you through the university acceptance process by turning your Services experience into ‘academic points’ so that you are offered an online university place with LSM (distance learning associate college of Anglia Ruskin University). There is no charge for this work, as it is paid by LSM, so you can find out if you comply without obligation. We remain with you throughout your study and will even attend the graduation ceremony on your behalf if you are abroad.
The cost of online study is significantly less than that of attending university and, more importantly, you do not need to stop working whilst gaining your degree.
One of the big advantages of online study is flexibility, particularly when you are unable to commit to a fixed weekly schedule. You might even finish earlier than an attending student if you are able to put in more time but your qualification and benefits will be exactly the same. Additionally, you can start after acceptance rather than waiting for the next year like an attending student.
Do you have an event or appeal you’d like us to publicise? Email us at:…[email protected]
Do you have any reunions you want to let everyone know about?
Just send in your name and details of how interested parties can get in contact. Also let us know the details of the reunion — who it's for, place, time etc. and a website if there is one, and we’ll include it in our next newsletter.
Email us at:…[email protected]
We Like to be social
An old man meets with his accountant, and is told he is going to be audited. The accountant drives the old man over to the Inland Revenue and when he gets there, he begins to talk with a member of staff.
"I bet you £2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The old man says to the staff member, who agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task.
The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye, and bites it.
The staff member is dumbfounded. The old man bets £3,000 he can bite his other eye. The Inland Revenue staff member knows there's no way possible to do this, so he once more agrees.
The old man cackles, pulls out his dentures, and bites his eye.
Then the old man finally wagers, "I bet £20,000 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk, and get it into your wastebasket, without missing a single drop."
The staff member knows he won't be able to, so once more he agrees.
The old man indeed misses, peeing all over the desk, and on the paperwork.
The staff member jumps for joy, but then notices the accountant, who is sitting in the corner of the office moaning.
"Are you all right?" asks the staff member.
"No!” says the accountant, “On the way over here, he bet me £400,000 he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"
If you want to contribute to the jokes in this newsletter, just send them in — email us at:…[email protected]
For various reasons we can't always include them in the newsletter, but we always appreciate them!
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