Newsletter – 18 October 2018
October 18, 2018 Newsletter
It will come as precisely zero surprise to readers that budget cuts to the armed forces have consequences. Former Chief of the General Staff, General Lord Richard Dannatt, has pointed out that cutting defence spending down to 2% of the national budget (formerly over 5%) has cut the forces’ capacity in half. With Russia’s continuing sabre rattling and Britain’s exit from the EU imminent, he very rightly points out that now is not the time to have a weakened defence.
Staying with our own armed forces, those who raised an eyebrow at recent news of simplified army fitness tests that are almost impossible to fail will need to take a seat to deal with the shock of this news; obesity levels in our military are at a record high. Not sure if there could possibly be a link there…
And finally, more ridiculous spy news from our friends in the east. What could be more embarrassing for a Russian spy: Their info splashed online – or that they drive a Lada?
Let us know what you think about these stories or any others that have caught your eye recently over on our Facebook page.
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Joke: Office work
Jesus and Satan were on their computers, having an argument about which of them had the better office skills. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Guys PLEASE. I can’t listen to this any more! I’m going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and started work on the big project God had set them, creating a detailed report with thousands of words, images and charts. Ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, the power went off and both computers went black.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
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