Newsletter – 23 May 2019
May 23, 2019 Newsletter
We don’t ask for much but this week we have two favours to ask you.
Firstly, some poor veteran out there, or their family, is missing some hard-earned medals. We all know how much awards mean to our forces and their loved ones. If you’re in the Derby area, can you identify this man? If not, please spread the word and let’s get these medals home to where they belong!
Secondly, and everyone wins here, could you please take a few minutes to update your details on our website? You may have noticed an incredible volume of vacancies lately – we sure have! – and if we can’t get in touch with you, we can’t put you forward for a role.
While you’re there, why not make sure all your skills and work experience are up to date too so we can match you to something ideal?
Drop us a line on [email protected] if there's anything you'd like us to add to this newsletter.
Do you have any news you think we should feature, or any areas you’d like us to cover? Email us at:…[email protected]
Do you have an event or appeal you’d like us to publicise? Email us at:…[email protected]
Do you have any reunion events our readers might like to know about?
Just send in your name and details of how interested parties can get in contact. Also let us know the details of the reunion — who it's for, place, time etc. and a website if there is one, and we’ll include it in our next newsletter.
Email us at:…[email protected]
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Three men die and go to hell.
"Surely we weren't that bad?" they ask themselves. "There has to be something we can do to get out of here."
Satan suddenly appears and says "Oh, but there is! Withstand ten whippings from my trusty whip here and you're free to go. I'll even let you pick something to cover your back with"
The men let out a cheer. This wouldn't be so hard.
The first man steps up and observes his surroundings. Finally, he picks a sturdy looking boulder to place on his back. "Ready," he says.
Satan raises his whip and yells, "ONE!"
The boulder immediately splits in half.
"Aw screw this," says the first man. "I'll just stay."
Satan smirks and asks, "Who's next?"
The second man steps up and, without picking any protection, gets in position.
"Are you sure about that?" asks Satan, to which the man replies with
"I have trained my mind and body to ignore any unnecessary pain. I need no protection."
"Whatever you say, pal." Satan raises his arm and yells, "ONE!"
The man slightly flinches, his pain evident, but he remains upright.
Annoyance flashes across Satan's face. He raises his arm again and shouts, "TWO!"
Again, the man remains upright, all the way up to the tenth whipping.
The man gets up, weary but happy. Satan looks furious and says, "Whatever, goodjob. You, third guy, you're next. What are you picking?"
The third man takes in his surroundings, lays his eyes on his choice and says, "I'm gonna pick the second guy."
If you've got a joke you'd like to suggest for this newsletter, just send them in — email us at: [email protected]
For various reasons we can't always include them in the newsletter, but we always appreciate them!
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