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News - Newsletter - 16 February 2012

Posted: 16/02/2012 10:52 | News Home

Hi Folks,

What with the Six Nations rugby, the Queen's Jubilee and all that snow I've almost forgotten whatever it is I was trying to forget. I do remember our newsletter, though, and that we have a load of vacancies, various bits of news and events, and the final fling that is our joke. Hope you enjoy this one.

If you have any suggestions or ideas for items you'd like us to include, or any feedback on the newsletter — good or otherwise, please email us–

Don't forget you can follow us on Twitter, 'Like' our page on facebook or connect with us on LinkedIn.

New Jobs since the last Newsletter

Technical trainer Aberdeen

Training and Assessment Consultant (050jc) Aldershot £24k to start

Assistant Maintenance Agreement Manager (NAZ) (049jc) Chelmsford £30-40k

Assistant Maintenance Agreement Manager (ACMA) (048jc) Chelmsford £35-£40k DOE

Project Manager/Maintenance Supervisor (047jc) Kabul, Afghanistan Excellent

Emergency Vehicle Technician (046jc) KAF, Afghanistan Excellent Package

Live-in Management Couple (044jc) Windermere, Lake District Excellent + benefits

Marine Engineering/ Naval Architect (045ne) Aberdeen Negotiable

In-House Recruiter (043ne) Berkshire £26,500 - 33,500

Admin Assistant Stockport TBC

Fireman Driver Operator (042jc) Kandahar Air Field Afghanistan On application

Field Engineers (041jc) Glasgow and Bristol circa £25-35k + Overtime

Electrical Discipline Engineer (040ne) Aberdeen Negotiable

System Design Engineer - Electronic Warfare (039jc) Saudi Arabia Excellent

Technical Training Manager (038jc) Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia

Plant Operator Suffolk £20,000

Project Manager Electronic Warfare (037jc) Riyadh, Saudi Arabia Excellent

Project Manager (036jc) Rochester, Kent £32-35,000

Structural / Senior Structural Engineer (035ne) Aberdeen Negotiable

Reminder — Please Check Your Contact Details

Please check to ensure we have up–to–date contact details for you — a working email address and your current phone number and address.

Also If you haven't updated or uploaded your CV in the last twelve months, please do so at the Ex–Mil website. We perform searches on the database and if your CV is not there, then we cannot match your details.

Finally, if you want us to remove your details from our database please give us as much information as possible — so we can cross reference your information and ensure we can find you.

Many Thanks.

News Round-up

Cuts risk military skills say NAO

MoD admits Harriers were in the middle of an upgrade when sold on

Pause in MoD housing upgrade will waste money

Plans for greater reliance on Reservist due in April

Soldier's kit proves its worth — twice!

HM Armed Forces tribute to HRH

Faster! Harder! Further!

Digital BFPO

Last known surviving service member of World War I dies

Do you have any news you think we should feature, or any areas you'd like us to cover? Email us

Events etc.

Here we like to include things for you to visit, attend, donate to or get involved in, should you choose to.

Buy a Beer for the Boys as they fly home from Afghanistan?

It's coming up to that time of year again... Army v Navy Rugby match — Twickenham — Satuday 28th April

The Royal British Legion Concert to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee - 3rd May 2012

Cloud Computing- Essential Risk and Security Undertakings - Masterclass - 4th April 2012, Central London, London, United Kingdom.

Do you have an event or appeal you'd like us to publicise? Email us

It makes your eyes go funny!

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't Miss Derek The Amazing Scotsman'.

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.

Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!

The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign :
'Don't Miss Derek The Amazing Scotsman'.

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!
So he bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.

The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.

The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know Something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?'

'Well laddie,' said the Scot,

'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.'

Thanks again to Alec Foley! If you can keep up, or improve upon the standard of jokes in this newsletter send us some good ones. Email us–


"The Team"

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