News - Newsletter - 16 February 2012
Posted: 16/02/2012 10:52 | News Home
What with the Six Nations rugby, the Queen's Jubilee and all that snow I've almost forgotten whatever it is I was trying to forget. I do remember our newsletter, though, and that we have a load of vacancies, various bits of news and events, and the final fling that is our joke. Hope you enjoy this one.
If you have any suggestions or ideas for items you'd like us to include, or any feedback on the newsletter — good or otherwise, please email us at:...press@ex–mil.co.uk.
New Jobs since the last Newsletter
Technical trainer Aberdeen
Training and Assessment Consultant (050jc) Aldershot £24k to start
Assistant Maintenance Agreement Manager (NAZ) (049jc) Chelmsford £30-40k
Assistant Maintenance Agreement Manager (ACMA) (048jc) Chelmsford £35-£40k DOE
Project Manager/Maintenance Supervisor (047jc) Kabul, Afghanistan Excellent
Emergency Vehicle Technician (046jc) KAF, Afghanistan Excellent Package
Live-in Management Couple (044jc) Windermere, Lake District Excellent + benefits
Marine Engineering/ Naval Architect (045ne) Aberdeen Negotiable
In-House Recruiter (043ne) Berkshire £26,500 - 33,500
Admin Assistant Stockport TBC
Fireman Driver Operator (042jc) Kandahar Air Field Afghanistan On application
Field Engineers (041jc) Glasgow and Bristol circa £25-35k + Overtime
Electrical Discipline Engineer (040ne) Aberdeen Negotiable
System Design Engineer - Electronic Warfare (039jc) Saudi Arabia Excellent
Technical Training Manager (038jc) Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia
Plant Operator Suffolk £20,000
Project Manager Electronic Warfare (037jc) Riyadh, Saudi Arabia Excellent
Project Manager (036jc) Rochester, Kent £32-35,000
Structural / Senior Structural Engineer (035ne) Aberdeen Negotiable
Reminder — Please Check Your Contact Details
Please check to ensure we have up–to–date contact details for you — a working email address and your current phone number and address.
Also If you haven't updated or uploaded your CV in the last twelve months, please do so at the Ex–Mil website. We perform searches on the database and if your CV is not there, then we cannot match your details.
Finally, if you want us to remove your details from our database please give us as much information as possible — so we can cross reference your information and ensure we can find you.
Do you have any news you think we should feature, or any areas you'd like us to cover? Email us at:...email@example.com
Here we like to include things for you to visit, attend, donate to or get involved in, should you choose to.
Buy a Beer for the Boys as they fly home from Afghanistan?
It's coming up to that time of year again... Army v Navy Rugby match — Twickenham — Satuday 28th April
The Royal British Legion Concert to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee - 3rd May 2012
Cloud Computing- Essential Risk and Security Undertakings - Masterclass - 4th April 2012, Central London, London, United Kingdom.
Do you have an event or appeal you'd like us to publicise? Email us at:...firstname.lastname@example.org
It makes your eyes go funny!
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't Miss Derek The Amazing Scotsman'.
The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.
Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign :
'Don't Miss Derek The Amazing Scotsman'.
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!
So he bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know Something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?'
'Well laddie,' said the Scot,
'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.'
Thanks again to Alec Foley! If you can keep up, or improve upon the standard of jokes in this newsletter send us some good ones. Email us at:...press@ex–mil.co.uk.
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